never listening to anyone but myself..
I guess i've always been the type to learn the hard way.
I need to learn how to prioritize, get my shit together, figure out the difference between what i need and what i want, or atleast find a balance inbetween. I'm school less, job less, heart less. Well, maybe not heartless, it's just not as big as it used to be. I'm starting to remember why i closed myself off to so many people before.. why i was so scared. I appreciate the friends i have in my life. I've slowly been deteriorating here, and you're the only ones keeping me semi sane..i say semi because i've officially been crowned, "crazy number 3" haha. I need to find things to do, let go of the past, not over analyze, stop thinking for once, & be the "bitch" that i used to be.. I need to get my allowance check so emeelyo & i can go to santa cruz & fix up my bike already. So we can ride around lookin' all cutesy & be happy again, woo.
i hate how i only turn to God when i'm at my lowest, when it feels like i've hit rock bottom. It's not fair. I'm either angry with him because of how "bad" my life seems, or i lay it all down in front of him.. but don't get me wrong, my life isn't bad at all, not even close to bad.. I'm just not content at the moment.. and just experiencing something different. I'm just so used to having a hectic life. And now, i lack one. So i guess somewhere amidst this non-existent life, i just string together all the negative attributes & beat myself up about it. Ohhh life ! =)
i'd really like to watch john & norah's infinite playlist..
i think it's john.. or was it jack? haha.
love.
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